so my laptop crashed and i’ve been using my work laptop. hence, why i haven’t posted. but i have no clue when i’ll get mine fixed, so i figured i needed to catch up the ‘inquiring minds’. so much to catch up on…i’ll leave the irrelevant stuff out.
i went home for Christmas. my first trip home since i moved. it was weird going there to ‘visit’. i have to say, as soon as the plane landed, i knew why i left. it was sunny flying the whole way home until we reached my home state. and amazingly, it got incredible cloudy. Bill picked me up at the airport. despite my shenanigans, it was SO great to see him! i miss him terribly out here though i’m sure my actions don’t seem that way a lot of times. there’s a difference between the way one acts and the way one feels. i love him and i want more than anything to be with him but at this point, that isn’t happening and so i do what i feel i need to in order to fill the time and not think about it so much.
so anyway, i had a great time home! it was SO good to see everyone. i had a fabulous time with my friends and family. i missed everyone so much. i got to spend 4 days with Bill, 2 days with my BFF, and i got to see my fave NFL team live win in the last 6 seconds. You can’t beat that! The weather was of course cloudy and crappy the whole time. Oddly enough, I got incredibly homesick on the flight home. I cried as the plane took off and i cried as i landed. I felt like I was coming back to nothing (besides the gorgeous sunshine and scenery).
a couple days after i last posted, I went out with Amanda. We went to see the Nutcracker and then dinner and drinks. the first place we went to drink was a champagne bar downtown. it was a really cool place. Amanda started talking to someone at the bar next to us. he came with us to another place called Lavish and that is the last thing i remember. i don’t know if he is to blame, but i had not had that much to drink by that time and i remember absolute nothing after that. i have no doubt someone slipped me a roofie….i didn’t even know people still do that! apparently we left Lavish and went to another bar…i don’t remember that. then we went to yet another bar and apparently i got kicked out of that one because i couldn’t walk or stand up straight. i woke up the next morning having no clue what happened. i asked Amanda what happened and she briefly told me what happened. i didn’t get much response from her after that and i was afraid that crazy night had tarnished the one close friendship i had developed out here. so, coming home, i felt like i was starting at square one, but thankfully, that was not the case. apparently she was just busy with finding an apt and work and stuff. we’ve hungout a few times since i got back and things are just fine between us, thankfully!
so, things with my job are not going so well. I should’ve known if it seems too good to be true, it always is. a really good paying job that allows me to work at home in my pjs everyday? yeah, too good to be true…within the past couple weeks, my job has become pretty much an over paid admin job. which, some would say “who cares? you make good money”. well, i care. i went to college a long time to do something i enjoy; not to be someone’s admin bitch. to try to make this long story short, my job became pretty much nothing but scheduling meetings and travel for the VP of our dept who is clearly on a power trip. i messed one thing up because i didn’t get a lot of training on it and apparently, she no longer wants me to ‘support’ her. not only is this embarassing, but apparently, it is going to result in a decrease in hours (though i don’t know how much yet). so, my well paying job will no longer be so well paying. it’s bad enough i’m a contractor so i get no benefits or PTO, but now i’ll also be bringing home a lot less money. it’s a total slap to the face. if they wanted to hire an admin asst, they should have advertised and hired an admin asst. i am not one and have never desired to be one. so, it’s back on the job hunting train…yet again! it’s so frustrating.
onward…so, NYE was pretty uneventful. hung out with my friend Aric and then went to a gathering one of my neighbors was having. it was fun; low-key. however, there was definitely a ‘tension’ between me and the guy who lives above me. i’ve actually felt it since the moment i moved in. thought maybe something would happen that night…after all, it’s NYE and everyone drinks excessively. but, nothing happened.
last monday, i was sitting around drinking for some reason (i was kind of depressed over something but can’t remember what). and i was outside with the dogs when my neighbor came home. we chatted for a while and i went up to his place to hangout. well, of course, i was drunk and i was right there was a ‘tension’. he came down to my place and we started making out. holy moly, he’s a phenomenal kisser! i mean, one of the best. I was a bit surprised, though he is 36 and should be by that age. but still. i’ve kissed a lot of people so to kiss someone and it be that great, is a little surprising. i was good. we didn’t sleep together or anything. wasn’t sure what to make of it. but, Friday i made the mistake of having a few glasses of wine and so i stumbled upstairs to invite him down to watch a movie. he was in the middle of something but came down a little bit later. sure enough, didn’t take long and we were going at it. seriously, i think i’m developing an addiction to kissing this guy. it’s bizarre. i’m really not at all thinking about or looking for anything else with anyone until i see what happens with Bill (who is supposedly sending resumes out here). but, all i can think about is kissing this guy. last night, happened again. thankfully, i’m too smart to keep condoms around because i know i won’t do anything without one and i know how easy it is for me to do something after drinking, so it has stayed with just some heavy making out. but here i am again, not even drunk tonight sitting here thinking about knocking on his door to makeout tonight. what is wrong with me? yes, i have no doubt it has something to do with reaching my 30s. they aren’t kidding when they say women hit their ‘peak’ at 30. the change in my libido in the last 8 or so mths has been crazy. a lot of times it’s all i can think about. and it’s hard to have the person you love be SO far away. i guess that’s how i justify kissing other people. it’s all confusing and i’m trying to do what i can to get through it and stay happy. and i guess, right now that involves making out with people….or at least with neighbor (BTW, what is it with me and my damn neighbors out here??)
so, that is a very Cliffs Notes version of the past month and a half. a lot of other stuff happened that i really felt wasn’t necessary to mention at this point. despite not having my own laptop, i will try to start keeping up with this better. i finally started my book and then the damn laptop crashed so i’m stuck until i get it fixed. figures!
